The next point that family psychology pays attention to and which I consider very important is responsibility. Personally, it is difficult for me to imagine a normal, at least more or less, family that would consist entirely of irresponsible people. Such families, of course, exist, but it is difficult to call them normal, prosperous families, because life in them is extremely stressful and unpredictable. Even when only one of the family members, one of the spouses, is an irresponsible person, problems are provided for such a family. And there are many families in which one or both of the spouses are irresponsible people, believe me. Why does this happen, why does irresponsibility in families occur quite often? The thing is that some, and perhaps many people, as it were, do not grow up to family life. Well, you know how it is-you want to go for a walk, have fun, do various things that you do not want to do when you have a family, but here you need to somehow control yourself, limit yourself in some way, bear responsibility, at least for yourself, not to mention other family members, deal with household issues, and so on. You know-these are completely different lives. Life without a family and family life is like heaven and earth. And you have to prepare for family life, because the same responsibility is brought up in a person from childhood, or rather, it should be brought up, but it is not always brought up.
But very well developed in some people egoism, not the one that is healthy, but the one that is childish, capricious, unreasonable egoism. And although children also have good altruism, which is not found in every adult, they are much more likely to behave extremely selfishly, completely ignoring the desires, needs and problems of other people. And if a person does not grow out of all this, then the egoism of his character affects his family life extremely negatively. Just look at the divorce statistics to understand that something is clearly wrong with our upbringing or culture, especially when you consider that many divorces occur because people can’t agree with each other, and they can’t do it because they don’t want to make concessions to each other. Thus, understanding the importance of a responsible approach to family life, a person can prepare himself for it by paying attention not only to what family psychology teaches, but also to his personal qualities, his egoism, which must be moderated so that the family does not suffer because of it, and so that the person himself does not suffer because of it. After all, few people want to deal with selfish people, let alone live, even when these people are very charismatic and charming. Exceptions in which one of the spouses suffers because of the other’s selfishness do not count. I don’t consider such families successful. Family should please a person, should make him happy, and not be a punishment for him.